Unsolicited Movie Reviews - 2019 Oscar Edition

Here we go again. Oscar time is upon us. The tickets have been bought and the ballots have been cast. Every year I take a few minutes to reflect on the Oscar nominees and humbly offer my opinions on said list. A few years ago, the Academy expanded the number of movies that could be nominated for Best Picture to 10. This year the voters presumably only found 8 movies worthy of the top honor. Just between you and me I think they were overly optimistic by about 6. 

Honestly, this is the thinnest year for nominees that I can remember.  There is some fine filmmaking to be sure but for me some of the candidates did not rise to the level of Best Picture.  For the purposes of this ranking I try my best not to factor in the current political climate. This is not my best guess of who is going to win. If you don’t like Bryan Singer, and apparently you probably shouldn’t, because he’s accused of some bad behavior or you think Spike Lee is a lunatic, great. That isn’t what this list is about. This is strictly which films I liked best and how I would vote given the opportunity. Anyway, I love to hear your thoughts on the films and your thoughts on my opinions. I especially like it when you decide to shower me with praise. 

BlacKKKlansman 

Sharp, funny, poignant, blunt and unambiguous. This could have been a kooky, dark comedy. It could have been a gritty, biting drama. With Lee at the helm it is both. The movie is at times a reverent homage to the civil rights struggle and at other times a viscously, funny parody punking the Klan. The movie is at its best when it is saluting the righteous while emasculating the bigoted and ignorant. It is an impressive balance struck between solemn and silly. John David Washington leads a great cast that includes Adam Driver in a supporting role worthy of a nomination.  Ashlie Atkinson sweetly playing the overly, eager and willing wife of a member of the Klan is just downright disturbing.   Like him or love him it is almost impossible not to respect Spike Lee simply as a film maker. When you think back over his career it is more than mind boggling that he has never won a directing Oscar.  He isn’t the only one this have ever happened to. He won’t be the last. It took Spielberg 21 years with arguably the most impressive directing career in history. Well it has been 30 years since Do The Right Thing and I hope the Academy sees fit to....you know.....are you gonna make me say it....really.......ok.....Do the right thing.  

The Black Panther 

Thank goodness they nominated The Black Panther for an academy award. How else would it find an audience?  Seriously, on the off chance there is anyone out there who hasn’t seen this film, like my wife who doesn’t “do” super hero movies, I beg you one last time to see this film. All too often we exalt films much higher than is reasonably necessary. We make them “triumphs of the human condition” or “masterpieces of the cinema” or “The next Dumb and Dumber”.  99.9% of the time it is ridiculously pretentious.  Occasionally though, something happens with a film and it does take on a more significant role culturally and socially. I have been watching movies for over 40 years in the theater. It is amazingly rare to see a film with the same combination of entertainment and social value. It works on an entertainment level because it is a freaking Marvel Super Hero movie and for right or wrong, they have figured out an amazingly lucrative formula. The stories, the special effects, the jokes the whole flipping universe seems to work and, in this case, it works exceptionally well. Socially, it put black faces and female faces in roles and scenarios where they have not been traditionally seen. And it didn’t do it as a gimmick or as a “one off’ event. It did it like it was supposed to be that way and that it wasn’t anything extraordinary. In doing so the normalcy made it extraordinary.  But the effect of those faces in those roles was further reaching and more consequential than we could really know.  I don’t mean to make the movie out as a miracle or a salve for the world’s ails. I’ll just say that has much as it meant to me, I easily understood how much more it meant to so many others.  

A Star Is Born Simply put, I loved it. It is textured and nuanced. It is an excellent retelling of a tale that has already been told 3 other times.  That is no easy task. The music is superb throughout. The music, all new, is so good because it enhances the story but doesn’t become the story. When Jackson plays songs that are supposed to be classic hits, they are so good you start wondering if you have heard the song before. It adds a level of believability to the film that is hard to describe but it is special. Sam Elliot is superb as usual.  I really hope he gets the statue for Best Supporting and GaGa more than held her own. But make no mistake about it this is Bradley Cooper’s film. Not just because he directed it. It is a more that admirable offering for any first-time director but I do think his performance has gotten overshadowed and a little overlooked. His desperation and loneliness are heartbreaking. He really did disappear at times. Still, if Star suffers from no awards, I think it will have to do more with the producers “overselling” to the Academy. My Lord they have been everywhere and saturated the viewers. Either way it is still a very moving film even if it isn’t transcendent.  

Roma 

A very good chance this film wins Best Picture. It clicks a lot of boxes. First of all, it is absolutely gorgeous. Shot in a stunning black and white. Movies like this are why it is sinful to suggest that Best Cinematography not be televised. Secondly, it is an extremely, personal film from a well-respected director. Alfonso Cuarón made this movie as a testament to the nanny who helped raise him. She was a loved member of his family and his dedication to the project has been well documented. Third, the acting is quite stellar.  Yalitza Aparicio is marvelous in her role as the nanny as was Marina de Tavira as the beleaguered mother. Both were unassuming to their core. There are also some headscratcher aspects of the film that just leave you bewildered. The “naked martial arts exhibition” and the “rebel training camp” scenes follow a small arc in the story that is hard to reconcile with the rest of the film. But the ending is more than satisfying on a visual and emotional level. There is a lot here to like and just enough to leave you a little confused. 

Green Book So, what happens is that Jessica Tandy is a black piano virtuoso and Morgan Freeman is a punchy but lovable Italian tough guy who needs a job......wait......what?  Honestly the only thing really wrong with this film is that we have seen it so many times before. Two very different people placed into uncomfortable circumstances become great friends because in the end all that matters is the person inside, their humanity and how we treat each other. It is a formula for a reason. It works. But it can get tired from time to time. That doesn’t take away from how well it is acted or how compelling the story is. The fact that it came from the horse’s mouth and based on the recollections of the actual participants makes it interesting as well. Viggo Mortenson and Mahershala Ali are two of the better actors on the planet.  It is well worth your time to see just not the best picture of the year.  

Bohemian Rhapsody

In spite of one phenomenal performance and a ton of great music from an iconic band this movie is an absolute mess. The story is convoluted and the series of events are not only ridiculously convenient but obviously embellished. Major plot points are contrived to build suspense when none was actually there. And the script was so insulting and overtly manipulative that it would have the viewer accept Freddie Mercury tracked down the love of his life, came out of the closet to his father, revealed he had Aids (which we wouldn’t be diagnosed with for several more years) and did this all on a 45 minute care ride to Wembley Stadium before giving the single most important performance in the history of the human race. Give me a break.  

As a rule, I try to mostly judge movies on how they made me feel. Was I happy, sad, irritated etc.? When I walked out of Bohemian Rhapsody, I have to admit my toe was tapping. I enjoyed myself and the nostalgia stirred by the music was great. As a two-hour long retrospective of the band and their music it was fun. The last 15 minutes recreating the infamous Live Aid Concert was nothing short of awesome. Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury is almost certainly going to be this year’s Best Actor winner and more than deservingly so. But as a film telling a story it has huge elements that are laughably bad and the worst part is that they didn’t need to be.  

Vice  
Man, I was excited about this film......then I saw it. Expectations are a funny thing.  After “The Big Short” a few years ago I thought Adam McKay doing a film about Dick Cheney was a slam dunk. He had proven he could take convoluted material that was also sensitive and explain it in a creative way while finding some dark humor at the same time. Here’s the thing. VICE isn’t The Big Short. Somebody should have told the director. He tries to use many of the same story telling devices that worked brilliantly for him before but they come off as tired and even bitter.   The saving grace of the VICE is Christian Bale as Cheney. Rami Malek will most likely win the Best Acting award but don’t let that take away from how ridiculously great Bale was in this film.  McKay has plenty to say about Cheney and his effect on world politics, domestic politics, civil rights, the rule of law and the role of the executive, and that’s fine. Hell, that is awesome. At its best film can do that like no other medium. And a filmmaker should have a point view. But the movie comes off as petulant and wholly void of nuance. Two hours of banging the viewer over the head of how dumb and evil a character leaves you wondering.....”Ok, got it, where is the rest?” 

The Devil may be most effective when he’s boring. Maybe that’s the point. But as a matter of film making it leaves you with a two-hour long film full of one-dimensional characters and no counterbalance to root for or compare to. 

The Devil isn’t the only thing that was boring.  

Just as an aside, I will for the life of me never understand why someone would spend 3 or 4 years writing, editing, casting, shooting and promoting movie with all the effort and work that is involved to make a film about a subject for which they are so obviously loathsome. (See “Iron Lady” for another example).  At least if you are going to do it you should make a better movie.  

The Favourite 

Queen Anne ruled England, Scotland and Ireland from 1702 til her death in 1714. During her reign England and Scotland merged as a realm and for the final 7 years of her life she was Queen of Great Britain and Scotland. I only bring this up because with what was most obviously a consequential reign the film makers chose to make a movie about the Queen’s rather violent lesbian affairs and the torrid rivalries that were born within her court to curry the Queen’s, um, favor.. Oh, yea and somehow this is represented by a bunch of rabbits. I swear to God.....rabbits. But don’t you worry. This is high art. I mean there are phenomenal actresses in juicy roles (true actually), exquisite costumes (also true) and the director has to be an unadulterated genius because of his indescribable brilliance to shoot the whole damn thing with a fish-eye lens to assumingly suggest the distorted sense of reality lived inside the walls of the monarchy. OOOOOOOOh, originality (finally sarcasm). Ah you pretentious mistress, I have seen thy face and this is the Favourite.  

There you have it. Enjoy the show!

  

Unsolicited Movie Review - 2018 Summer Edition

Unsolicited Movie Review - 2018 Summer Edition

The best time of year in the world of movies is Oscar Season. Late fall through the end of the year most of the contenders get released to beat the awards deadline and still be fresh in the voter’s minds.

A close second is the summer blockbuster season. For the most part, these are different kinds of films. Big budget, popcorn eaters with action and stars typically rule the day. Traditionally, there are a few good comedies and rom-coms, mystery/capers, horrors and now what has seemingly turned into its own genre Super Hero Movies. It is a mixed bag and a little something for everyone except for pretentious think-pieces that question the innersoles of the characters and the righteousness of humanity. You’ll have to wait till at least October to learn the meaning of life.

So every year I usually do a quick run-down of a few of my favorite summer pics. My number of enthusiastic recommendations was fewer than expected this year. It has been a little different season so I’ve changed it up to include a look at a lot of films from the summer.

Personally, I can’t remember a more disappointing summer movie season. There were some bright spots but as a rule I rated it Extra Medium. Just BLAH! Some I have already written about but here is a quick breakdown of what I saw this summer. Worst to Best! Sort of! Don’t Agree? Tell me about it I can handle it.

Alpha – OMEGaaaaahd I hated it. (Movie was gorgeous. At least it had that.)

Equalizer 2 – Should have been called FERTILIZER 2. What a turd. Don’t get me wrong I love Denzel and loved the first Equalizer. It had that unexpected element like Taken. But the sequel is an absolute mess. Aside from a few great fight sequences and some promising new characters the rest of the story is all over the place. There are ridiculous holes in the script that are just unforgivable at this level of movie production. Denzel famously hasn’t done sequels in his career…..this is why.

Breaking In – Despite a clichéd premise the movie had a better than average cast. They made it watchable until the end but when but it was over you just wanted to punch the writers in the privates.

Ocean’s 8 – Ocean’s 11 was such a good movie Steven Soderburgh decided to make 2 sequels. Ocean’s 12 and Ocean’s 13. Those were pretty good so he deep fried the script and made Logan Lucky. Never one to resist beating a dead horse he then decided to produce an all-female version. It was fine. A similar concept to the Ghostbuster’s remake with much better results to be sure but please, Steven Soderburgh, for all that’s holy stop. Unless of course you want to make Ocean’s 300 with me and a bunch of fat actors dressed up like Spartans trying to rob a Dunkin Donuts. Now, that would be worth watching.

MEG – Read the book 15 years ago and remembered thinking this would make a great movie one day when the special effects were doable. After the first Jurassic Park all special effects were doable. So I watched it in a matinee and didn’t fall asleep. There were way too many characters to care about any of them and the blatant pandering to the Asian movie market was a tad obvious. Don’t expect Jason Statham to have too many emotional moments but the sharks are cool and a few laughs.

Jurassic Park Fallen Kingdom – What do you want me to say. It was slick and they have this premise figured out to be entertaining. Nothing new but at least they do the same stuff over and over pretty well.

Sicario: Day of Soldado – Not nearly as compelling as the first film. The loss of Emily Blunt’s character and the absence of any counterbalance to del Toro and Brolin hurt the movie. That being said it set up a 3rd film perfectly. The writer, Taylor Sheridan, has had as good of a 3 year run as you will ever see penning 3 of the best 15 movies since 2015. (Sicario, Hell or High Water and Wind River). This film isn't as good as those three but still worth a watch and a study.

Incredibles 2 – It was fun and smart and everything you would expect. It was also been way too long since the first movie.

Avengers: Infiniti Wars – My Mom loved elephants. She had elephant earrings and necklaces and shirts. It was her thing. She also had a number of elephant figurines she had collected over the years. Some were from gifts some from purchases and there were probably 30 of them. One time she decided to display them on top of a cabinet in my bathroom. I would sit there pondering all these elephants with tusks and trunks intertwined as I conducted my business. One day I remarked to my mother that the top of that cabinet looked like a Pachydermal Orgy. She took them down a few days later.
I tell you this because that is what I was reminded of watching Avengers Infinity Wars. It just looked like a big super hero spandex orgy with no sex. I keep saying I’ve almost hit critical mass with super hero movies. Was this the one that pushes me over the edge? Probably not though. I’m a glutton.

DeadPool 2 – If Iron Man got to use the F-Bomb and was poor.

The Spy Who Dumped Me - Better that it had any right to be. Kate McKinnon is funny. She has to be directed and a good director is needed to edit her and make her look “all the time” funny. Here she was great. Kunis was a more than respectable Abbot to McKinnon’s Costello.
I have to admit, maybe because there are more female directors getting big films, I’ve seen more male genitalia in main stream films in the past 3 years than I saw in the my previous 43 years on this earth combined. I’m all for girl power and hats off for more opportunities but are all the saggy, old man balls really the legacy these ladies want to give to film?

Solo – The amount of butt hurt over poor little Solo only grossing 400 million dollars aside, I thought it was a great prequel. Ron Howard stepped out of the traditional Star Wars script and turned in an intergalactic Buddy movie. Don’t believe the whining. This is superb film making.

AntMan and The Wasp – Compared to the Spandex Orgy that was Infinity War it was nice not to have the fate of humanity hinge on the outcome. Paul Rudd is superb and extremely likable but the supporting cast is equally as watchable. Please, so I don’t pull the cord, more super hero movies like this please.

Mission Impossible Fallout – IMO, Tom Cruise is a bit of a nut. Ok, he is all of a nut. But there are two kinds of crazy. One type is when you strip off your clothes and go into your back yard and howl at the moon. The second type is when you strip off your clothes and come into my back yard and howl at the moon while upsetting my dogs. The first one I don’t mind. The second, I take kind of personal. That’s Tom Cruise. I don’t care what he thinks about psychoanalysis or Prozac or that he thinks he’s an alien. That’s howling in his back yard. I take more offense at the fact of how horrible Mission Impossible II was. It sucked out loud and I’m sure I pissed away $20 watching. That’s howling in my back yard. It was the one aberration in this series. Luckily, starting with MI3 he put all his proverbial clothes back on and just howls at the box office. Slick, sophisticated with phenomenal action sequences involving honest to goodness stunts. Yes he’s as crazy as a loon but he is a full blown movie star and knows what to do with an audience.

PS
An outlier from the summer BlacKkKlansman is worth its own writeup that I'll do at a later time

Unsolicited Movie Reviews – 2018 Oscar Edition

Unsolicited Movie Reviews – 2018 Oscar Edition

Every year’s crop of Oscar Best Picture nominees seems to share a similar or predominant theme. Last year’s was misery and sorrow. Practically all the movies were ridiculously sad. Two years ago the common thread seemed to be struggling against overwhelming forces or odds. This year’s lot is much more tonally confused on the whole. This makes for an interesting year and forces you to watch an unusually, broad variety of films in both story and style.

For our consideration we have 2 historical dramas that show two views of the same event and could not be more different films. There is 1 revenge epic, 1 satirical horror, 1 coming of age tale, 1 First Amendment anthem and 3 creepy love stories for three different reasons.

For the purposes of this ranking I try my best not to factor in the current political climate. This is not my best guess of who is going to win. If you don’t like Gary Oldman because he’s accused of some bad behavior or you think Lady Bird will ride to victory because of the Me Too movement, great. That isn’t what this list is about. This is strictly which films I liked best and how I would vote given the opportunity.

There are always head-scratchers as well. One glaring omission in this year’s crop, Wind River, was beyond worthy and I think it is a shame that it was omitted. Additionally, Gil Birmhingham’s performance as a grieving father of a murder victim was grossly overlooked as well. But those are the breaks. I promise you there are greater tragedies in this world. The sun will come up tomorrow.

Again and for the record, these are listed in my personal order ranked by how I would vote if I were voting and not what I think will win. DO NOT use this for betting unless you want to lose your house.

Dunkirk – Best movie I saw this year. One of the better movies I’ve seen in the last decade. Dunkirk,

to put it plainly, is a masterpiece. From the first minute of the film there is not a single moment to let your guard down emotionally. There is not one minute to control your senses. There is only a race against time and an unseen enemy that is palpable and real throughout the entire movie. Some were put off with Nolan’s penchant to play with time and sequence. To each his own but part of the brilliance of the movie is the way Nolan intertwined 3 story lines of 3 chronological lengths into a single 2 hour arc and showed practically every svrmr from 2 and sometimes 3 points of view. That would be amazing on a technical level alone and I haven’t even mentioned what a great history lesson it tells.

Dunkirk is a worthy tribute to the spirit and will of the soldiers stranded on that beach and the nation that rallied to protect their protectors. Strong, Calm, Determined, Unflappable…..Britain!

Honest to goodness, at times it took my breath away. Phenomenal Film Making

Three Billboards Outside Ebbings, Missouri – At times heartbreaking, infuriating, surprising and often brutally hysterical TBOEM is more than worthy of Best Picture. The movie is loosely inspired by an unsolved 1991 rape and murder that prompted the victim’s father to rent billboards critical of the investigation. That’s where the similarities stop.

TBOEM speaks to rage and sorrow and the debilitating effects of violence,of all kinds. It shows the consequences of desperation and helplessness on otherwise good people. It makes you question to what lengths you yourself would go for justice. But as dark as it remains throughout it reminds us how powerful the mere hope for redemption can be.

It would be impossible to assemble a better cast. Frances McDormand was great and should win. Woody Harrelson continues to build a ridiculous acting resume for the same guy who was Woody on CHEERS. However, if Sam Rockwell doesn’t win for Best Supporting it will be a shame. His was a brutally raw characterization and somehow this is his first nomination after an impressive career.

Get Out – Sharp, funny, disturbing and occasionally a little scary. This was marketed as a “horror” film. Not sure it falls into that genre but then again that is all about perspective. More accurately it is a brilliant piece of scathing satire.

Daniel Kaluuya would have a great shot at the Best Actor trophy if not for Gary Oldman's Churchill.  Kaluuya's gradual realization of his predicament was so well paced it set the tone for the entire film. It also made the final revelation that much scarier. Jordan Peele showed depth as a film maker outside of comedy. Get Out came out of left field and will reap career rewards for all involved.

As a matter of odds they stack up against Get Out. It is a “horror”. It made a ton of money and it was released in February. Why does that matter? Most Oscars go to the films released in the latter part of the year. The last February release to win Best Picture was Silence of the Lambs 26 years ago. However, if there is a shocker, no pun intended, this will be it.

Darkest Hour – I don’t trust myself to objectively critique this film. I am a huge Churchill buff. Few historical figures rise to the level of adoration that I feel for Winston. I have read reviews that thought this movie was overly sentimental and formulaic. Other reviewers felt it unfairly portrayed Chamberlin and Halifax. There is an argument to be made, that the film makers completely wasted Kristen Scott Thomas as Clemmie. That may all very well be accurate and further more I don’t really give a damn.

This film is about Churchill. It is about his words and his deeds and his struggle to hold a nation together at times by what seemed to be his own bare hands at times. It is about his dogged determination to “KEEP BUGGERING ON” even as the world and many in his own government were hiding in the shadows. It is about a masterful performance by Gary Oldman who literally disappears in the role.  The film is at its best when Churchill is at his lowest. It does a stellar job of conveying the utter isolation and personal responsibility this man had to feel.

Lady Bird – I struggled placing Lady Bird on the list more than the other films. It is an Academy darling. It is small, contemplative with sharp dialogue and eccentric but relatable characters.

What I liked about the film was the acting. Saoirse Ronan is the real deal. She was nominated 2 years ago for Brooklyn and 10 years ago for Atonement.  That is 3 nominations and she is only 23. She would be unrecognizable between the two roles. She has such a memorable presence on screen where it just seems like she belongs.

I also loved Laurie Metcalf as the Mom who may have redefined the apex of passive aggression. She was marvelous and were it not for Allison Janney I think she would be a shoe-in for the Best Supporting Actress award.

It didn’t have as much of an emotional punch for me but my wife tells me I’m wrong and she is usually correct.

The Post – Spielberg directs Streep and Hanks in a story about one of the biggest news stories in the nation’s history. Honest to God if this film hadn’t been nominated the world may have stopped spinning on its axis. Everything about this film works. The writing, acting, directing, lighting, cinematography etc. all work wonderfully.

The only problem with this, and a few other more recent films by SS, is that they are like a 7’ tall man dunking a basketball.  It is what you expect. Excellence and continued success raise a bar so high it is hard not to raise expectations. Then if doves don’t sweep in and carry you off to a land of rainbows and gold you feel like you have been let down. Spielberg, Hanks and Streep are somewhat victims of their own success. I think they will get over it while they are sitting around polishing their other Oscars with $1000 bills.

This is a really, really, fine film. Unfortunately, it will unfairly be compared to the better “All the President’s Men”.  It won’t go down as Spielberg’s greatest but that doesn’t make it bad it just doesn’t make it transcendent.

The Shape of Water – I keep reading that this is the best bet for Best Picture. Here is the thing. It is all about the buy-in. Every movie you see requires a certain degree of disbelief suspension. The degree required for The Shape of Water is off the charts. To put it plainly, it is just weird. Now, cross-species stories aren’t new exactly. We’ve had Beauty and the Beast, Starman and Julia Roberts’ marriage to Lyle Lovett. So how is it otherwise?

Take the weird out of it and you have a rich, beautifully filmed love story set to the backdrop of espionage and world politics. You have two sympathetic heroes, compelling supporting characters and a creepily strange villain. Visually, the movie is nothing short of gorgeous and all the technical aspects of the film work.

But here is the thing. It’s just freaking weird. If you get past that you’ll probably love it.

Phantom Thread – Can a movie be exceptionally well made being full of brilliant direction, exquisite acting and an attention to cinematic detail that is nothing short of amazing and still make me dislike it? Phantom Thread proves that the answer to that question is YES.

I didn’t hate it. It just pissed me off and not because it was trying to piss me off . That would have been fine. The problem is that it was trying to surprise the viewer. It was being pretentiously clever. If this movie were a college student it would be sitting in a café smoking cloves and making puns about Proust. All the while it would be feeling superior to its friends that didn’t get the reference.

There is some fine craftsmanship all through this movie. Supposedly it is the last film of Daniel Day-Lewis, arguably this generation’s greatest actor. I find this rather disheartening because the movie itself is a little bit of an asshole.

Call Me By Your Name – FINALLY, this is the first nominated film in 2 years that I actually hated.
First, it was shot beautifully. If it were a travel log for the Italian countryside it would have been a raging success.  Or even better, think of the most beautiful painting you have ever seen. Whether it is in a book or a museum, just imagine whatever painting you consider the most beautiful. Then get some popcorn, pull up a chair and stare at the painting in a dark room. Just look at it sitting there. Keep looking. It doesn’t move. Oh, you notice something in the corner. Keep looking……..Keep………Looking. Now, it has been a couple of hours and you check your watch and you realize, “Holy crap! That took ten minutes”.  That is what this movie is like.

This movie was marketed as a young gay man’s coming of age story while living in Italy. He falls in love with one of his father’s older students. This movie should have been marketed as “Hey look, gay people can be just as frigging boring as the rest of us!”

I’m not saying there isn’t a story here or the acting was awful. It was just so lifeless especially for a film that is supposedly about passion. I also think it is fair to point out that I found the age difference of the love story a bit creepy. I realize the young man’s character was 18 and an adult but visually the actor that played his looked significantly younger especially compared to his love interest Armie Hammer.

There you have it. That’s all I got.