Here are 100 questions to enlighten you about me. If you need me more come back.
100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag 15 people (Including the one who tagged you) and have them do the same.
1. Last beverage→ Hemlock
2. Last phone call→ 911
3. Last text message→just kidding
4. Last song you listened to→ Drop Kick Me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life
5. Last time you cried→ 1982 Rocky III when Clubber Lang killed Mickey. Curse you MR. T. Curse You.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice -- Not in a row
7. Been cheated on? → Yes, by my 8 year old playing checkers . Does that count
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Am I regretting or are they? Regardless, I'm sure the answer would be yes on both counts.
9. Lost someone special?→ yes
10. Been depressed?→ NO!! Why, what did you hear? No one ever listens to me.
11. Been drunk?→ Yes but usually not in church. I have my standards
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Winter Butter
13. Maize
14. That Blue stuff they put your combs in at the Barber Shop
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends→ No, but I have bought a few.
16. Fallen out of love → Only if there is a boat named "LOVE"
17. Laughed until you cried → Multiple times a day, usually
18. Met someone who changed you→ I usually change myself. But If I did let somebody change me I would definitely meet them first.
19. Found out who your true friends are→ No but I haven't gotten the report back yet.
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ I would be depressed to find out nobody was.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ No, but I kissed a few on their "friend's list" wink wink. What do you mean its not a euphemism?
TRUTH:
23. How many kids do you want to have→ I plead the fifth
24. Do you have any pets -- yes, peaves
25. Do you want to change your name→ Yes but "Ravishing Pulchritude O'Feeley" seems a bit ostentatious.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ I hopefully haven't had my last one yet.
27. What time did you wake up today → You are assuming that I have.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Conducting and internal debate on the pros and cons of High Fructose Corn Syrup
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → patience
30. Last time you saw your father→ Refer to #26
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Quell my need for world domination. Or lose 50 lbs. Its sort of a toss up.
32. What are you listening to right now → My dog snoring
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Screw people named Tom. Who the heck do they think they are. I mean I hate to be brutal about it, but the world is in chaos. We need scapegoats. Sorry Toms, I guys it's just your bad luck. Schmucks
34. What's getting on your nerves right now?→ synapses
36. Whats your real name → Tawanda
37. Relationship Status → Euphoric
38. Zodiac sign → Scorpio
39. Male or female -- male
40. Elementary→ Bethel
41. Middle School → Bethel
42. High school → Tuscola
43. Hair color → Lavender
44. Long or short → I didn't think it mattered. I knew that was a lie. Oh, you mean my hair. Oops. Short. Just ignore the first part. Never happened.
45. Height → 75"
46. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yes but the restraining order is crimping my style
47. What do you like about yourself? → The ability to be a stone cold hunk and a by-god genius all at the same time. Its not easy, I just make it look that way.
49. Tattoos --- A Yiddish translation of Quiet Riot's 80's smash hit "Cum on Feel the Noize" located just below my left shoulder blade.
50. Righty or lefty → Only me and my tailor will know.
FIRSTS :
51. First surgery→ Hysterectomy
52. First piercing →Lets just say my favorite comic book hero of the 70's was Union Jack
53. First tattoo → an exact replica of my left ankle on top of my right ankle
54. First best friend → Mr. Bill Norwood. I still want to go for a ride in the Thirtoon Balloon.
55. First sport you joined ---- Non-competitive Malfeasance. They called it basketball in the Bethel Youth league, but I think my title gives a more accurate description.
56. First pet → Heidi
57. First vacation→ Soco Gap PicNic area
58. First concert → Eagle Bay Brother's on the "We Swear to God We Aren't Kidding" Tour
59. First crush→ Mrs. Chambers. 2nd grade teacher. shiver
60. First alcoholic drink→ Cough Syrup
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → TOFU. OK I couldn't even type that with a straight face.
62. Drinking → coffee
63. I'm about to → Sing Handel's Messiah with an emphasis on all the R's
64. Listening to → Pat Boone
65. Waiting for → Peace in our time. also Cherry Yum Yum. I'll take which ever comes first.
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? → Want is such a controversial word
67. Want to get married? → No, but staying married is a top priority
68. Careers in mind? → Wick Dipper at a candle company or a Professor of Film History with an emphasis on any movie Keanu Reeves was never a part of. I mean it, he really, really , really sux.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? [Or Same Sex]
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes
70. Hugs or kisses → Kisses
71. Shorter or taller → taller
72. Older or Younger → Once you go gray.....
73. Romantic or spontaneous → willing
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → I have never heard any guy comment on somebody's arms.
75. Tattoos or piercings → Tramp stamps have a certain appeal, but someday that cute little vine is gonna look like 40 ft of faded garden hose. I'm just saying.
76. Sensitive or loud → If your sensitive its OK to be loud. Its just the rude people you want to shut the heck up.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Isn't a Hook up just a really short relationship?
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Its usually when I hesitate that I make the most trouble.
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Yes but most of the charges were dropped
80. Drank hard liquor → More like Drank Liquor Hard
81. Lost glasses/contacts → 20/20 baby
82. Sex on first date → I wouldn't call a Bea Arthur look alike contest at the VFW a "date"
83. Broken someone's heart → It is a long line with big elbows. lol
84. Had your own heart broken → yes
85. Been arrested → Amazingly No.
86. Turned someone down → yes
87. Cried when someone died → yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Especially in areas requiring a delicate balance between a knowledge of Quantum Physics and Wild Ass Guesses.
90. Miracles → Have you ever heard Alison Krauss. One of countless examples
91. Love at first sight → Is it Blind or is it at First Sight. Please get you cliches in order.
92. Heaven --- Yes
93. Santa Claus → In many and wonderful forms
94. Kissing on the first date: Is that anything like petting on the first kumquat?
95. Angels → If you have a child you don't have to ask.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → yes
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → yes but usually only one of each.
98. Do you believe it’s possible to remain faithful forever?→ Does't believing in a temporary faith defeat purpose and the definition. It would be like almost being pregnant.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without?→ oxygen
100. Are you tickilish?→ Only when I have a feather in my nether regions.
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