Mid-Donut

Mid-Donut

Recently an old friend from high school posted a picture on FaceBook. It wasn’t a very good picture. It was overexposed, not level and the subject was off center. There was a young lady getting ready to take what appeared to be her second bite of a succulent little pastry. The caption read:

“Caught Mid-Donut”.

All of a sudden everything was clear.

What an exquisitely simplistic and clarifying phrase: “Mid-Donut”.

That’s the place. That’s the goal. Take me to there. Take me to the “Mid-Donut”

Before going further I must confess there is a possibility I may be placing an exaggerated emphasis on pastry treats. For the last month I have been attempting to change the way I eat. There are a number of reasons for this. None of which are unique to me. They include my health, my appearance and an inseparable sense of duty and love for my wife and kids. Consequently, the last 4 weeks have seen my diet stripped of things that have been held sacrosanct to me for nearly 45 years. Potatoes, pasta, buscuits & gravy, cookies, cakes and what often seemed to be every sliver of human goodness and decency have been left by the plate side of my life’s dinner table. Let’s face it. If you are addicted to carbs as I was and suddenly remove them from your diet be prepared. There will be moments of longing so fierce for a bowl of mashed potatoes or a slice of wonder bread that you would seriously consider strangling a complete stranger.

This is to say. My judgement is either clouded in a fog of longing and regret or it is clarified and focused as it has never been before. You’ll have to decide.

But, since I am in this ethereal, emotional limbo where I cannot be entirely certain of my motivations or judgement it is the perfect time to make a life altering decision. Check That!, A WORLD ALTERING decision.

I am starting a cult!

Welcome to the Order of the Mid-Donut!

Easy Now!  My cult is different. But to be fair I would imagine that is exactly what every cult leader would tell you as well. But reaaaaaally, it’s different. Every time we see a cult they are having a shootout with federal authorities, burning up in a ball of flames, committing mass suicides, raping and pillaging their members or attempting to get Donald Trump the nomination for President. Cults, heretofore, require you to turn away from your past and your heritage. Cults make you replace your faith with something vapid and fake. Cults make you forget yourself.  Well, not this cult.

·        

• We don’t want your money.
• We don’t want your allegiance.
• We don’t want you to ignore your past.
• We don’t want you to fear the future. Period.
• Most of all, and this can’t be overstated.We don’t want you coming to live with us. 
• First of all I don’t have the room and the only good thing about communes is that it is easy to avoid a lot of people I probably don’t want to be around in the first place.

Just stay where you are!

The Order of the Mid-Donut just wants you to strive every day to find and recognize the beauty, the joy, the simplicity and the hope that is Mid-Donut. It is by no means a religion. But it is more than a state of mind. It is more than an attitude. It’s a philosophical sugar high, as it were. It’s the ideal of an esoteric plane of consciousness or unconsciousness as the case may be.

I know what you’re thinking. “FROM A DONUT?”

Hear me out. Donuts are like life, I think. Screw it!  It is my blog. Donuts are like life.

No two are ever the same. It takes a series of complicated events and reactions to create a donut and then to mold a donut into the donut it is meant to be. They come in countless varieties: Jelly, chocolate, cream-filled, crullers, long johns, colored sprinkles, powdered and now with the CRONUT

apparently the French have finally joined the rest of humanity, albeit reluctantly. Heck, I’m sure there is some gluten-free donut out there made with garbanzo bean flour, coconut lard and sprinkled with GMO-free, organic paprika that was ground under the hooves of free-range, pygmy yaks. It takes all kinds. The options are limited only to the imagination. Some won’t be to your taste but each one is somebody’s tasty treat.  Sound familiar?

Think about it. Mid-Donut is that glorious moment where those two exquisite feelings of

elation-realized and elation-anticipated finally coexist. You have just bitten into the donut and felt the exhilaration and satisfaction that you had been anticipating. AND, Oh a beautiful word AND, as you enjoy all its pastry goodness, now you get to start anticipating taking your next bite.  You know why? You have MORE donut left to eat. That is a pretty phenomenal crossroad of emotions.

What if we made it a point to find that emotional crossroad all of the time?

What, if every day we not only savored the extraordinary journey we have all taken by appreciating the life we have led? All the life we’ve led with the good and the bad. We should celebrate the triumphs and appreciate the failures. We should awe at the struggle and the fact of still being here. At the same time, what if we embraced, regardless of where we are on life’s journey, having the opportunity to take another bite of our proverbial donut. It may be a small nip or a huge mouth full. It doesn’t really matter. It is the fact as long as we are here we have more servings to come of this joyous, maddening, affirming, frustrating, incomparable donut we call life. That is the essence of "Mid Donut".

• We want you to love, honor and remember your past. All of it.
• We want you to embrace your faith or find your faith as a promise of what is to come.
• We want you to taste different donuts.
• We want you be excited with what is around the corner and the opportunities and promises of  donuts to come.
• We want you to share your donuts.(Proverbially and literally. If you go to Krispy Kreme what would it hurt to get an extra dozen?  JUST SAYING!”

I recognize the irony. At least for the time being I can’t even have a donut. But God knows I have had my fair share to this point. I also don’t mean to belittle the precious and sacred gift that is life by comparing it to a ball of lard, flour and sugar. I know life isn’t that simple. For certain the struggles, challenges and evils that will surely be faced throughout any life are neither easy nor trivial.

What I also know is at this very instant we are standing here in our entirety. A complex compilation of the moments in our lives that led us to HERE! The struggles, the chances, the wins, the losses, the tragedies, the triumphs, the horrible mistakes and the lucky guesses all blended and got us to HERE! Right smack dab in the middle of the donut. We have the opportunity of what’s next. We get another bite. We may get thousands of bites to go along with all the other bites. We should do what we can to be thankful or at least content, if not joyful, for the past. They, for better or worse, have prepared us for the awesome opportunity we have to come. It has given us reason to be hopeful and daring and faithful and really anything we care to be. That’s a gift. That’s a helluva intersection! That’s a place to spend some time.

OK, I’ll admit it. I’m not starting a cult.

Like I said, my mind is either foggy from sugar-withdrawal or it is cosmically clear. The jury is still out. For the record though, I would make a horrible cult leader. Communal-living creeps me out and let’s face it. Eventually, “THE GROUP” is gonna expect me to eat quinoa and to make my own soap and that’s just crazy. Put more simply and to paraphrase Groucho Marx: “I wouldn’t want to be part of any cult that would be willing to have me as their leader!”  Maybe we can just get t-shirts made or coffee mugs. Coffee and donuts mmmmmmmmmmm. That is a whole other post.

I would however like to find it. That crossroads, that millisecond, that blink in time where appreciation and anticipation intercede. I want to find and keep finding the Mid-Donut. It is exactly where you are whether you realize it or not. It isn’t always easy to see. It occurs constantly all the while changing second by second. It is there for the taking but at times you’re going to have to search and search hard. But, Oooooh, when you find it……..goodness, gracious that’s a good donut. 

Remember! Pick up an extra dozen to share!

Oscar Picks 2016 Best Picture

Oscar’s night is nigh. It snuck up on me this year so I have been scrambling to view all the nominated films for Best Picture. Just finished the last one and thought I would put down a few thoughts. Strangely enough I really enjoyed all the films this year. I can usually find at least one of the nominees that I truly hate. Last year with Birdman and Boyhood I had two. No such luck this season. To be honest I’m a little disappointed. It makes ranking them extremely hard. Oh well, I’ll survive.

All you can do is judge the films in front of you for how they made you feel. Every year has its snubs. Is racism the reason “Straight Outta Compton” or Will Smith weren’t nominated? Maybe, but I guarantee you that if Harvey Weinstein had produced either of those films there would have been bundles of nominations. The process is a little rigged. Some people do a better job marketing (BUYING VOTES) than others. Way of the world I suppose but that’s where we are. Life goes on. No movie has ever been snubbed as bad as “Color Purple” and they may have been as much racism as it was that fact that the Academy didn’t really like Spielberg for a long, long time. Truth is when your vote is subjective you get results that can be suspect. Again, it’s the Way of the World.

Movies based on true or actual events rule the day. This seems to be a pretty familiar Oscar trend. The one truth to take away from all the pictures is that even with the truest movie they are full of inaccuracies. Funny enough, Brooklyn, which is a total work of fiction, came across more realistic than any of the actual “real stories”. But here is the thing and it is hard to get around this fact… IT IS JUST A MOVIE!  Chill out.

Again, I really liked all of the movies this year.  While there is no runaway film there is also no stinker.  Does that make it a stronger or weaker crop of movies? I don’t know but it can make for interesting conversation I suppose.

These are listed in my personal order ranked by how I would vote if I were voting and not what I think will win so I wouldn’t use this for betting unless you want to lose your house.

Room:

No other way to describe it but HEART WRENCHING. Imagine trying to explain the world to a child who has never known anything but a 12x12 room. The film is at its best when showing us how much we take for granted. Things like “outside” and “across the street” are not real if you never knew they existed. The sense of loss and then the sense of awakening that you see in the child is both heart breaking and life affirming at the same time. That is not easy to pull off. Did I say this movie was heart wrenching?

Brie Larson should walk away with the Best Actress award and deservedly so.

Spotlight:

There is a lot of anecdotal proof that investigative reporting is all but dead in American journalism. The story of Spotlight is the greatest argument for not letting it stay dead. There is a long list of classic films that have dogged reporters as the antagonists of the story. All the Presidents Men, Killing Fields, Salvador all come to mind. Spotlight easily belongs on that list. A true story of how a team of reporters at the Boston Globe unearthed one of the largest and most insidious conspiracies in history.

The reporters didn’t want to believe what they were learning. They were skeptical and questioning. The work was mundane and the odds were huge. They were going against arguably the most powerful force in Boston if not the world and doing so came with risk of professional ruin and worse. THAT’s drama and Spotlight does it well. A superb cast telling an unthinkable tale in a fine movie.

The Big Short:

As much as I like films as a release and a getaway I really love films when I learn something. Whether that something is about me, the world or the human condition it doesn’t matter. When I get a film that does both then it is a homerun. The Big Short is a master class in high finance and economics wrapped up in a sleek, funny and if you think about it ANGERING film. It is a master class because it uses a half-naked supermodel in a hot tub to explain some of the more complicated aspects of the story in a simple way. Who could look away?

The movie does pull a little switcharoo. It goes through great lengths to show you what happened with the US economy in 2008 and how it was extraordinarily complex. Many, many smart people missed it or at the very least willfully ignored what was happening. Then, almost miraculously, you find yourself rooting for the handful of folks who figured out the coming demise and made huge financial bets on the crash of the U.S. economy. That’s right. People profiting billions as folks are losing their homes are the heroes.

As I said this is a funny, fast paced, smartly written and wonderfully acted film and if it doesn’t make you madder than hell you weren’t paying attention.

The Revenant:

You will wince…..a lot. This movie is definitely “High Art” but it is also a little bit of “Torture Porn.” It very well may be the best picture of the year but PLEASE can we stop hearing about how hard everything was? I get it. You were cold and wet. Well, so were the masseuses and caterers.

Seriously, this film will take you on an emotional ride. DiCaprio deserves the Best Acting Oscar not because it was so hard but because he was that good. Showing the brutality of the life these men led is accomplished with every aspect of the film. The music, the cinematography, the costumes, everything adds to the story and doesn’t take away. Let’s be clear. This isn’t a new story. We have seen the movie many times. This is a tale of revenge plain and simple but it is told in an astonishingly, breath-taking way. That’s pretty impressive.

FYI: Tom Hardy’s speech describing how he “found the Lord” is acting gold.

  

Brooklyn:

Any other year Saoirse (Seer-sha) Ronan would have my vote for Best Actress. She’s going to be around for a long time. Brooklyn is probably handicapped in the Oscar race because it doesn’t deal with some unimaginable set of ridiculous events like Revenant or Room and it isn’t set on another world like Martian or Mad Max. It is a more common tale of a young Irish girl leaving her family for a chance at a better life. It is a beautiful love story and no less dramatic, well-made or deserving in its own right than the more outlandish films in the category. It does the most important thing a film can do and that is to make you care for the characters and what happens to them. What else do you want?

Mad Max: Fury Road:

With George Miller, Mad Max and Rocky Balboa all on the big screen I feel like the 70’s are back! MMFR in a lot of ways is what movies ought to be:  an epic in scale, visually stunning story of an anti-hero, outcast loner who overcomes all odds to save the day. It is not typical Oscar Bait because fantasy doesn’t always bode well with the Academy, some notable exceptions notwithstanding.

MMFR is violent, quirky, over the top and it lacks subtlety but to be fair George Miller has never claimed it to be subtle even in the original Mad Max in 1979. So now that he has a digital palette to play with he has taken brash and bold to a digital level. It really is a fascinating film to look view. I found myself wondering what the first movie would have looked like if the technology had been available.
Oh and forget Tom Hardy. Charlize Theron owns this movie!

Bridge of Spies:

Spielberg / Hanks tell a cold war story of quiet espionage and backroom diplomacy. Seriously if it hadn’t been nominated the earth may have shifted on its axis. To be honest it is not Spielberg’s greatest but that’s a pretty high bar. It is thoughtful, temperate and deliberate telling more of a famous story that has been know till this point. The movie is not a genre changer or a ground breaking event. However, it is a film that is told with a steady and trusted hand by skilled filmmakers. In that way it is not unlike the hands that guided the events in the story it tells. It is a story of patriotism that is as concerned with idealism behind the acts as the acts themselves. It didn’t take place on a battlefield but in boardrooms and governmental office. It is a different type of patriotic tale but a patriotic tale none the less.

The Martian:

The greatest trick of “The Martian” is how is took a painstakingly technical, high minded 

sci-fi novel and turned it into a highly entertaining and watchable film. You have to credit Ridley Scott and Matt Damon. They know what they are doing. The Martian is a funny, inspirational and uplifting film that while it was “unbelievable” it stayed “believable”. You find yourself aching for this poor guy to finally get home. If I’ve got one complaint, well two actually, is that the movie didn’t do a good job of showing exactly how long he was gone. But it didn’t really matter because it would have been impossible to root for him any harder. The second complaint was about the “science” For the most part all of the science made sense. Until the end and that’s why it dropped from my number 1. I’m still not over the ending. But on the whole it is a great film.

Don't let the rankings throw you.  All these movies were superb.  Again this was a tough year to rank.

Let me know what you think!

Roaring Sound of Silence

What I remember was the silence.  I remember thinking the silence was strange because of the number of people bustling about. The doctor and a couple of nurses were taking care of my wife Shelli. Four other nurses, maybe more, were calmly but quickly taking care of my newborn son.  I stood at the foot of my wife’s bed staring at the stainless steel and ceramic tile walls of the delivery room. I was rattled but I didn’t want Shelli to see I was nervous. Nervous hell!  I was scared.  When a child is born you don’t want to hear silence.  You want to hear crying and laughter and cheers and ‘Congratulations Dad!’ All I could hear was my heart thumping in my chest and the prayers in my head pleading that he was OK.

Our first pregnancy was just too easy. I understand only a man can say a pregnancy was easy but as pregnancies go it was smooth. Excited and nervous as we were things seemed to go as planned. There was a bathtub, an aerobics ball, a midwife, hippie music and a delivery room that looked like a hotel suite.  Shell did it all without an epidural and it was pretty much perfect and our little baby girl was perfect.

So when we found out we were pregnant again I was convinced we were that couple that has easy pregnancies.  Yes, I know there is no such thing. Did I mention I am a man? Seriously I thought we had this thing licked.  The plan was good.  We were on schedule to have our daughter potty trained before our new one arrived.  Vacations and sick leaves were all set for the new arrival.  With a due date in early March Shelli would miss being “very pregnant” in the heat of summer.  She had the added benefit of celebrating the holidays with a good excuse to eat anything she wanted.  Then on the Saturday before Christmas we were about to leave for some last minute shopping.  Shelli was in the floor with our daughter and she said something didn’t feel right.  She didn’t act shocked or scared but I could tell she was concerned.  We called the doctor and fifteen minutes later we were at the hospital. Ten minutes later Shelli was on bed rest for the foreseeable future. She was in premature labor and needed to be on IV medication. But even then I wasn’t panicked. Concerned?  Absolutely but I’m a cockeyed optimist and figured all we needed was time, medicine and a deep breath.  Shelli was just pushing herself too hard and this was God’s way of telling her to slow down.  Got it! Message Received!  Thanks God. We’ll see you in March. 

Not so fast.

After making sure our daughter was squared away at a friend’s house I began calling family to let them know Christmas plans had been altered.  I still remember telling Shelli’s mother about the premature labor.  “Oh no. It’s so early.” she said.  The words were so faint that to this day I’m not sure she even knew she said them out loud. That was the first time I got nervous. That is when the questions started flooding my head.  Early?  What does that mean for the baby?  Would there be birth defects? What kind of defects?  Could they be mental or physical? Eyes? Ears? Arms? Heart? Lungs? EVERYTHING!!!!  In that moment I realized how much I didn’t know.  

The next few days, while tedious, were also very special.  We sat in a hospital room trying to watch TV or talk. There were obviously discussions with doctors and ultrasounds and shots. Shelli even had her hair washed by a nurse and I remember thinking it was funny that they caught the water in a 20 gallon trash can. It is odd the things you remember.  There was also a lot of laughing and hand holding and hugs and tears. Most of the time was spent choosing a name.

Well a girl’s name at least.  As agreed upon before we were married if the first child was a girl my wife would get to pick the name and if it was a boy I would get the honor.  The other spouse would choose the next child’s name regardless of sex. Each of us had veto powers.  Since we chose not to learn the sex of either of our children it was important to be prepared. I always knew my first son would be named Daniel.  But I had never selected a girl’s name and in my defense I thought I had eleven more weeks to decide.  So, we embarked on a quest for a girl’s name.  There were dozens we liked but more we hated.  Names with “history” got nixed.  Former girlfriend’s names were out immediately, go figure.  We had a white board up so we could visualize the names.  It turned into a game.  Once we narrowed it down to 5 sets of names with no clear favorite we let the nurses vote.  If our baby was a girl her name would be “Sela Rose”.  For the record my wife used veto power on my first choice “Matilda”. I still think it was a mistake.

Wednesday morning we got good news.  Shelli got to go to the bathroom and take a real shower. She literally cried with excitement. The labor looked like it had stopped and we had a girl’s name. It was the most optimistic we had been in several days. Then all hell broke loose.  We had a couple of visitors that morning. Shelli started feeling uncomfortable. A little while later the doctor confirmed that labor and started again. He explained that it may be possible to slow the labor again but it was unlikely to stop completely. His suggestion was to deliver this baby and deal with any issues they may arise. Again your mind starts racing with possibilities.  We took a deep breath and said OK. For the next couple of hours Shelli kept progressing through her labor.  The doctor and I spent most of time at the foot of her bed talking about the Harry Potter books we had just read.  Did I mention the doctor and I were both men?

It was time. Contraction intervals, dilation centimeters and effacement ratios were all aligned.  There was no hippie music, no midwife, no aerobics ball in the corner. There were doctors and nurses wheeling Shelli into what looked like an operating room.  There was stainless steel and lights and tile and a small bucket at the end of the bed.  There was a team of nurses waiting in the corner.  Everyone was in scrubs and there was a sense of urgency.  In short it was entirely different from our first pregnancy. At 29 weeks our baby was obviously not very big.  The delivery itself was relatively short.  After a couple of pushes it was “Hello and Welcome to the world”.

After a quick look the nurses whisked him way. It’s a Boy!  Daniel was here.  The doctor turned his focus to Shelli and the nurses had Daniel under a heat lamp doing whatever it is they do.  I faced the wall trying to catch my breath.  There it  was, that silence.  Why wasn’t he screaming?  My daughter screamed immediately. I didn’t know much but I knew he was supposed to scream.  Pleads and prayers were still pounding.  I stood there for what seemed like 10 minutes and heard nothing.  It was just so damn quiet.

“Woo hoo” was the first thing I heard.  It cut through the air.  It wasn’t Daniel but a nurse.  It was followed by “He’s peeing Dad.  Daniel’s peeing.”  Finally came the faintest cry.  A wail or a screech or whatever you want to call it from his tiny little lungs.  Then everything came rushing in.  I heard him and the nurses and all the other sounds surrounding me.  I didn’t know everything that was to come but I knew right then he was crying and peeing and I’ve never felt more relief in my life.  I wiped my eyes and walked back to Shelli. Daniel was taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for further assessments. As soon as we were settled we got word from the nursery that Daniel weighed 3 lbs 9oz., more optimism.  That was huge for 29 weeks.  We didn’t know when we would get to see Daniel. We did know he had 10 fingers and 10 toes and a little stuffed goat that was a gift from the staff. We knew he didn’t need a respirator and that was everything.

It would be seven weeks before we got to take Daniel home. This would be seven weeks of hospital gowns, NICU beds, hand sanitizer, IVs, doctor’s rounds, late nights and getting to know the caring and dedicated staff of the NICU.  September is NICU Awareness Month and that is why I decided to share this story.  My wife and I became AWARE of our NICU the hard way.  The dedication and care shown to my family by the administrators, nurses and doctors of East Carolina University Medical Center leaves me a debt of gratitude I will never be able to fully repay.

The day after Daniel was born was Christmas. Our neighbors broke into our house to “steal” the presents Shelli and I had bought each other and wrapped them for us.  We could only see Daniel a few hours a day and our daughter was at her Grandmother’s house.  So we spent that Christmas eating snacks, watching movies, sitting quietly and feeling grateful for the showers of blessing that were being rained down upon us. I had a beautiful wife, a wonderful 2 year old daughter, my son Daniel Darrow York and I had quiet. But, this quiet I heard wasn’t scary. It was soothing and peaceful like a good quiet should be.  

Thanks to My Movie Loving Father

Thanks to my movie loving Father.

Inspired by a family friend, my 14 year old daughter and I have embarked on a task to see the American Film Institute's (AFI.com) top 50 movies of all time.  This seems like a great exercise to 1) spend time with my teenage daughter and 2) give her a leg up on annoying her friends with useless movie quotes applicable to any situation for decades to come.  

Win-Win!

Concerning the latter, it has been suggested on occasion in the course of regular conversation I will, to a somewhat annoying degree, quote movie lines and draw parallels using arcane film references. I submit the complaints are exaggerated but after you hear the same observation a few thousand times you begin to lend it some credence. If it is true then the only person to blame is my father.  So, why wouldn’t I want to pass along such a glorious trait to my daughter?  It is a family tradition.

Growing up in the dark ages of the 70’s and 80’s with no internet, heck we didn't even have cable tv. So, my father was a boiled-down, human version of IMDB.com.  He was notorious for picking out actors in old movies and tv shows and pointing out all the other movies where they appeared. He was particularly adept at cast members of old westerns but he loved musicals, dramas and comedies equally. Daddy was also prone to break into songs that related to whatever subject he happened to be discussing at the time but that is a story for another day.  Regardless, when he talked about movies it usually led to stories about what was going on in his life at the time. “Oh, I saw that in college" or "Your Mother was pregnant with your sister when we saw this.” It would lead to other tales and stories and the next thing you know we had a conversation and I had learned something about my Dad I didn't know before. Films acted as a time line and mental post-it notes for our family history.

Now this isn’t necessarily a project I could do with my 12 year old son.  He cannot stand B&W films and is suspicious of my “old movies” in general. My daughter on the other hand likes to humor her old man and even loves classic movies. Charlie Chaplin is a particular favorite. Now, because of Chaplin’s movies my daughter has new appreciation and points of reference to help her understand things like the Great Depression (The Kid) or industrialization (Modern Times) or fascism (The Great Dictator). It has also given us another line of conversation and anyone with teenagers knows you don’t take those opportunities lightly.  But hey, I had a good teacher.

I just got off the phone with my Father. I told him about this little project with his granddaughter and then spent an hour listening to him talk about films he remembered from when he was young.  He is 78 and can still remember going with his older sister to see Wuthering Heights when he was 6 or 7. As a boy of 9 or 10 he would go see serial westerns at the Strand on Main St. in our hometown. The small college he attended in the mountains of North Carolina would have a movie night in the auditorium and he vividly remember seeing Martin Luther and in his words it really “…dug into me.”  I asked him if he remembered the family going to see Star Wars when I was 6 and if he remembered falling asleep about an hour into it. He just laughed.  Then I recalled us going to see Pete’s Dragon and having to keep it a secret from my Grandmother for some reason.  Then he reminded me it was because we skipped a church event to go see it and that was a BIG NO NO. Then we actually couldn't remember which movie we skipped church to go see but we are certain about skipping! HA!

Movies are and have always been more than my entertainment. They are topics for conversation. They encompass and reinforce life lessons. They give me a sense of time and historical reference for different eras and places. They are escapism. They are educational and even though I didn’t always realize it at the time they have been a way for me to bond with both of my parents but especially my Dad. I want to open that same line of connection with both my children and in doing so connect them a little more with their grandfather. I’m just thankful I kept an open mind, listened to my Old Man and watched a bunch of “dumb old” movies even the black and white ones.

In honor of Father’s Day here is a list of 11 movies I first watched on the recommendation of my father.  Thanks a ton Old Man.  I love you!

11 Movies I'm Grateful My Dad Got Me to Watch!  (in no particular order)

Inherit the Wind - No other film describes the relationship with my Dad and films as this one. It led to conversations about faith, science, truth and principle. It led to a life long interest in the career of Clarence Darrow. So much so that my son's middle name is Darrow. It is deep, thoughtful and poignant. Spencer Tracy and Fredrick March chew up the screen and I might never have watched it if it weren't for my Dad.
"As long as the prerequisite of that shining paradise is ignorance, bigotry and hate, I say the hell with it." Henry Drummond

Yankee Doodle Dandy – Single favorite scene of any movie ever. James Cagney tap dancing down the steps of the White House is as satisfying of an ending I’ve ever watched on film.  Anytime you mention this scene my Dad still smiles.

Lilies of the Field – My father is as kind and gentle a person as I have ever known. He has always tried to do what is right to the best of his ability and often to his detriment.  I think about him and my mother every time I see acts of decency in movies and in life.

The Big Country – My Dad was a huge Charlton Heston fan. Me, not so much but he is great in this movie in a supporting role.  Gregory Peck stars and Burl Ives won his Oscar. Dad is also sucker for a brunette and Jean Simmons was no slouch.

Mister Roberts – Daddy reveres this movie. He constantly misquotes Ensign Pulver’s last line but never the less it was one of his favorites.  WWII was such a huge part of Dad’s childhood and all the great war movies from the 40’s were popular.

“What’s all this crud about no movie tonight?”  

The Cowboys – “We’re burning daylight!”

Daddy was a true fan of the Duke. “The Alamo”, “Chisum”, “Rio Bravo”, “The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance”, “She Wore a Yellow Ribbon”, “The Searchers” and on and on and on.  Dad would say “Of all the movies John Wayne walked through the Cowboys was the best.” ha!

Brigadoon – Dad is a sucker for musicals, which was great because so was my Mom. He was also a fan of Van Johnson.  I think he was just enamored with big guy who could tap dance.  This may be my favorite Gene Kelly movie. 

Blazing Saddles – My mother used to tell the story of going to the theater with Dad to see this movie. My father laughed so hard during the “Campfire Beans” scene that he was leaning over the edge of his seat slapping the floor in the aisle.  The visual of my father laughing that hard always makes me happy.

To Kill a Mockingbird – If Daddy said it once he said it a thousand times, “How great it would be if more people viewed the world like Atticus Finch.”  Amen!

The Quiet Man – 
Just an epic fight scene.

Dad used to laugh at how silly movie fights were.  “Dear Lord” he would say.  They beat on each other for an hour and nobody even has a bruise.

No Time for Sergeants - Being from NC we were huge Andy Griffith fans. I remembered being shocked to find out Andy did more than just the TV show. I watched it for first time 35 years ago and it still makes me belly laugh every time I see it.  

                    “Ah, listen there.  Somebody must have brung their bugle.”

I will never be able to say thank you enough!

Pandora is a Tempting Seductress!

Pandora is a tempting seductress!

She starts off the morning bright, playful and full of soul with Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl.

Then she settles easily under the covers with a live version of "A Pirate Looks at Forty" with Jimmy Buffet and Jack Johnson.

But she's not done.  She reminds you, not that she needs to, that her algorithm is smart, full, luscious and in no way shallow with Bob Marley’s "Buffalo Soldier".

Then she ramps up the energy using all her skills and knowledge to pamper you with the not-so-guilty pleasure of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s "Sweet Home Alabama".

If that wasn't enough she changes speed to wind you down with the images of sun and beaches and days on the sand. She reminds you that all good things will eventually come to an end with Zac Brown’s "Toes".

Then…..all of a sudden…..Pandora jumps up, grabs a bucket of ice water and laughs at your vulnerability as she dumps a gallon of Jason Aldean’s Take A Little Ride?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?

WTH Pandora.  You frigid Slut!

Unsolicited Musical Review - OKLAHOMA!

Unsolicited Musical Review  (see what I did there?) - OKLAHOMA!

Took the fam to High Point Community Theater's (HPCT) production of OKLAHOMA!  A classic show brought to life in a GREAT production by a talented group of theater hands, actors and volunteers.

This is Community Theater? As a rule you aren't dealing with folks who make their living in the arts. You have bankers, students, stay-at-home Moms, the occasional eccentric who happens to know how to run a light board and any number of folks who make their living everywhere but the theater. They all merge together and put on a show. So Community Theater can be a crap shoot. Some are more reliable than others and heading into their 40th season HPCT is about as reliable as you get. 40 years? Carter was still in office for God's sake.

The GOOD - (cast and crew) - This was the opening night of an amateur theater production with a huge cast of 51 actors.  So it is to be expected that many in the cast are in their first production.  This is a show with fight scenes, large production numbers, a full orchestra and tons of choreographed movement all over the place.  In other words there are ample opportunities for disaster. No worries. This troupe carried it off without a hitch. I saw ONE minor technical gaffe in a three hour production on opening night. That is nuts.  There may have been more but as it should be the audience never knew just as the Good Lord intended and the Good Director prayed it would happen

.

The VERY GOOD - (Set Design/Lighting Design) - Visually it was a beautiful production. From the vast backdrop of an Oklahoma wheat field to the star-specked expanse of the Oklahoma sky the set and lighting designs were superb. Tricky transitions from live to dream sequences that could have been clumsy and confusing were sharp and concise. The set and lighting were precise and effective. Each enhanced the storytelling which is what they are supposed to do.  My 12 year old, who didn't know the show, followed along easily. 

(Featured Players) - A quick word about the featured parts. Jud Frye (Michael Jones), Ali Hakim (James Litteljohn), Aunt Eller (Ivey Harris) and Will Parker (Noah Dalton) are the colorful details that paint this show and these actors were more than up to the task. No opening night jitters here.  No missed cues. They attacked these beloved roles and took very good care of all of them.

The GREAT - (Curly and Laurey and Ado Annie) -. 

Ado Annie (Michelle Martino) was, to put it mildly, a force. "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No" was a show stopper. The worry is that the actor puts all her energy in that one song and the rest of the performance would be less energetic. Miss Martino carried the energy throughout the rest of the show and as Ado Annie she chewed up the scenery. She didn’t miss a laugh. Not one.

Curly (Bryan Cox) and Laurey (Kathryn Muhlenkamp) - The silliest complaint you will ever hear about community productions is "Well its not Broadway or It didn't sound as good as the record".  WELL DUH!  This isn't Broadway. That being said Mr. Cox and Ms. Muhlenkamp are Broadway level vocalists. Are they Shirley Jones and Gordon McCrae?  No. But then again neither is anyone else. 

Both actor's vocals were top notch. Mr. Cox's Curly was full of life and playful. Mrs. Muhlenkamp's Laurey was beyond delightful. They had chemistry as a couple. You believed it when they kissed. Their jokes worked and dammit, both of them can really, really sing. Could either of them be on Broadway? Absolutely.  Will either ever get an opportunity or have the desire?  Who knows?  But, at least for now, they are here along with the rest of a wonderful theater troupe sweeping down the plains of High Point.  This is a thoroughly enjoyable show.

The show runs for the rest of the weekend at the High Point Theater tonight through Sunday. As I understand it tickets are still available.  Just call 336-887-3001 for the box office. Or visit their website for more info

http://www.highpointtheatre.com/boxoffice.asp

So be like Ado Annie and Don't Say No.  Trust me.  You're gonna get lucky! 

Oscar Picks 2015 Best Picture

With the Oscars upon us I put together a few thoughts on this year’s Best Picture nominees.  All you can do is judge the films in front of you for how they made you feel. Every year has its controversies and snubs. My favorite film of the year was “Interstellar”.  It’s not even nominated.  I’ll live.  The fact is every movie based on actual events contains inaccuracies. It’s the same case this year. Three movies about real events and I guarantee you every one of them takes significant, artistic license and portrays historical inaccuracies.  You know what else?  Poop stinks, sugar makes you fat and not everybody is going love you.  Life goes on.   These are listed in my personal order ranked by how I would vote if I were voting.   For the record the two movies I liked the least are the most likely to win the Oscar.  My bet is that “Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) takes the prize.  Guess we will find out Sunday.

American Sniper – One of the two best movies I saw this year. The other one wasn’t nominated (Interstellar).  More than any other film it stayed with me after I left the theater. Rarely will you see a movie about war that you can describe as subtle and understated, at least not a great one. Bradley Cooper enveloped his character every bit as much as Eddie Redmayne as Stephen Hawking in “The Theory of Everything”. It just isn’t as obvious due to the subject matter.  Eastwood is consistently one of the finest directors Hollywood has ever produced. His handling of this film (especially the ending) and the choices he makes (fake baby aside) just proves it even more.

Whiplash – If it weren’t for American Sniper this would get my vote. It is powerful, fast, emotional, disturbing and deceptively one of the most technically brilliant movies of the year.  This one stuck with me as well. JK Simmons’ brutal portrayal of a megalomaniacal music instructor is something most actors only dream of doing. He crushes it as does his student played by Miles Teller. This isn’t a quiet, little drama with two main characters that could have just as easily been a stage play. The technical prowess used by the filmmakers interweaving intricate jazz compositions with mind-boggling editing really transform this into a film to be studied.  I cannot recommend this movie enough.

The Imitation Game – A historical drama about a little known aspect of the espionage and science used to the defeat the Germans is right up my alley.  Cumberbatch is superb as is all the cast. In a lot of ways it reminded me of “The Social Network”. The way the film makes the “invention” of computer science suspenseful is a bit of minor miracle.  

“Sometimes it is the people who no one imagines anything of who do the things that no one can imagine.”  AMEN

Selma – Strong Film. Important Film.  The part I liked most about the film was that it showed King in a much rawer light that I have seen him in the past. So often and rightly so he is shown as the figure head and CEO of the movement. He was also a “roll up your sleeves” activist. He was a tactician and planner and I think that gets lost at times. The acting was excellent all around. I do find it interesting that we often get British actors to portray some of our most American of icons.  I don’t have a problem with it. I just find it interesting. Seems to me Denzel was a marvelous Malcom X and George C. Scott was and still is George Patton. We didn’t have a single long tall Texan who could take on LBJ or a black actor who could bubble up the spirit of MLK?  If we ever sent Martin Sheen to play Churchill the Brits would start another war.

The Theory of Everything – As a rule I like biographies. There is something inherently dramatic about the lives of people who have overcome obstacles and struggles. It is almost cheating in a way because you don’t have to manufacture the drama. Regardless it usually works and it works here. That being said I don’t know if it works so well as to make it a Best Picture of the Year nominee.  I’ve seen this movie before. “Ray”, “My Left Foot”, “A Beautiful Mind” and two dozen more to boot were all practically the same movie.  “The Theory of Everything” is that movie this year. Take a predictable script with a phenomenal performance of a famous icon by a great actor and it is a winning formula. It works.  I enjoyed it. But, as in 99% of these films the true, lasting emotion is our connection to the brilliance of the portrayed and not the art of those who portray them.

The Grand Budapest Hotel – A Wes Anderson film that made me laugh a few times and I didn’t hate.  That alone makes it worthy of a nomination.  Beautifully shot and designed it is the same quirky, pretentious and “seriously artistic” movie we expect from Anderson.  If you like him then bully for you. If you hate him you may not hate this movie as much as all his others.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) – I hated it. I got it. I recognize the artistry. I appreciate the performances. Keaton, Norton, and Stone were wonderful.  The script is sharp and the technical aspect of shooting in long, uninterrupted scenes was effective if not necessarily ground breaking. All that being said I still hated it and should have just taken a walk.

Boyhood – Ambitious to be sure with it being shot using the same actors over a period of 12 years. At times it is a really nice film. At other times it is an “Afterschool Special” with a few F-bombs. The movie does a really nice job of portraying “real life”.  The scenarios and life events are realistic and make sense. It is an extremely, believable journey of this young man’s life. Some of the dialogue however is just bad and the moments of philosophical enlightenment from the boy are sophomoric at best. If somebody had asked “If I were a tree what kind of tree would I be?” I would not have been surprised.