Friday, July 25, 2014

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Unsolicited Movie Reviews - Summer Blockbusters 2014

Been away for a while but the bride and wee ones are out of town on vacation so Pops gets to catch up on the big bang movies that the wife doesn’t usually go see.  So here is a compilation of some of the big movies of the “Summer”

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Unlike Transformers or Spiderman or even Planet of the Apes for that matter the Marvel Comics universe of The Avengers seems to have a limitless range of stories to tell before they start getting old. The new Spiderman, #2 but really #5 if you consider the Toby Macguire years, is flat. Even after retooling, Planet of the Apes is superb, but one more film is about all that franchise has left. That is OK because the story arc really works as a trilogy. By comparison, the Avenger’s world has had 8 or 9 films already and while they haven’t all been perfect they sure aren’t stale and there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the latest offering. If you are an Avengers fan you should like this. If the Avengers isn’t your bag, you know what, you should still like this.  Sharp writing, well-formed characters and some classic old-fashioned heroism all with a WWII tie-in make it a perfect summer action film. Captain America is ‘Hamburger and Apple Pie’ and that is what makes him great.
Did I mention Scarlett Johnssan? What I didn’t.  Oh, well, let me take care of that. 

SCARLETT JOHNSSAN! Wow, I may need a cigarette.
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The Amazing Spiderman 2

Have you seen the other 4 Spiderman movies since 2002? Then you’ve seen this movie as well. It is pretty fun and rather entertaining just like the other 4. You won’t be disappointed you watched it but you won't go change your life’s philosophy over it either.  My suggestion would be to wait and see it at the discount theater.

By the way, Emma Stone is a huge upgrade from Kirsten Dunst. The Green Goblin’s make-up/outfit is a serious upgrade from the original but the new Goblin is a no Willem DeFoe.  Then again who is?
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Godzilla

Do you remember all the old Godzilla sci-fi flicks from the 60’s and 70’s? Now imagine if those movies had today’s computer graphics, a strong script with cool references to the A-Bomb and Grade-A acting talent. Bingo!, you have the newest incarnation of GODZILLA!

The movie isn’t a classic like Jurassic Park but it is a quality update and superb homage to the throw back movies we used to watch on the Saturday Matinee...on one of the 3 channels our antennae picked up. Oh and Bryan Cranston is a superb actor. I know this isn’t news but just needs to be said from time to time.
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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

While I loved the original Planet of the Apes with Charleston Heston and Roddy McDowell, I absolutely abhorred the Marky Mark version from 2001. So when I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes a couple of years ago I was shocked how much I liked it. It surprised me how well it worked on an emotional level. Then my wife watched it and liked it. How could this be? I knew the movie was not a fluke.

The 70’s films were the quirky, heavy handed, cinema equivalent of a dozen, pretentious, college hippies passing around a joint realizing the evils of humanity and feeling certain they were the first ones to ever have such an original thought. Sort of like “The Legend of Billy Jack” but with monkey costumes. The 2001 movie was just crap. But Rise of the Planet of the Apes accomplished something special. It humanized Caesar. It placed him and the audience on a level, emotional playing field and it worked. 

The new movie Dawn of the Planet of the Apes continues this trend and expands it to the entire monkey tribe. These are not, as Heston called them in the original, “damned dirty apes”. These are fathers and mothers and children trying to survive.

Like any good sci-fi it builds a world with cinematic/literary rules and sticks with them allowing the viewer to accept what they are seeing. The special effects are insane and like all excellent special effects they enhance the story as opposed to distracting from it.  But, what makes the movie work, like what makes all good movies work, is the simple fact that we care what happens to the characters. We laugh with them, cry with them and cheer for them. It just so happens that here the “them” is a bunch of damned dirty apes. 

Excellent film! It stands on its own but seeing “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” would be a good idea.
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Transformers: Age of Extinction


This film was billed as a “re-tooling” of the franchise. If by “re-tool” you mean trading a really talented, petulant, young star with a really talented, petulant middle-aged star and turning the ubiquitous, smoking-hot bombshell from the love interest to the daughter then yes it was a “re-tooling”.

In actuality it is 1 hour and 45 minutes of awesome, blow-em-up, By God, movie making, summer fun stretched out for nearly 3 hours.

Some people say Donald Trump would not wear his hair the way he does if he had one good friend to tell him how bad it looks. Michael Bay (director) must not have any friends. If he did they would have told him 1/3 of his film was unnecessary going a long way to counteract much of what makes these movies work to in the first place.

Any sequel to a big special effects film has to keep getting bigger and bigger with each film or so they say. It doesn’t always make a better film but it's conventional wisdom. Inherently any level of credulity the movie makers developed with the audience to suspend disbelief gets so strained that all believability is thrown out window and you remember that you aren’t a part of this strange and awesome world. You are just some schmuck who paid $8 to sit in the dark with strangers waiting for the credits. At one point I got up just to stretch my legs. I knew I wouldn’t miss anything.

Let me put it another way. Do you like bacon? Bacon on pretty much any level is perfect. It has reached a level of perfection that is unrivaled. Now, occasionally, we get a new twist on bacon. Sometimes it is peppered. I’ve seen it deep fried. There is chocolate covered bacon or bacon ice-cream. People try them and say 'Man that’s good'. And a lot of time they are right. However, if we are honest with ourselves none of the combinations are truly better than the actual bacon itself. The first Transformers was bacon with some chocolate drizzle. It was new and tasty with a twist.. Transformers: Age of Extinction is Bacon that has been married with a brownie, covered in chocolate, topped with ice cream, lathered in caramel, spiced with red-hots, wrapped in dough, deep fried and dusted with powdered sugar. The really good stuff is so covered in crap it isn't that good any more. What’s the use? If you eat it all you will be puking even before you get on the Tilt-A-Whirl.

The movie has an above average cast that works well together. Stanley Tucci is, as always, an absolute riot and owns every scene he is in. I personally think the special effects took a step back. Not that they are bad but I don’t think they are used in service of the story. The new “transformer’s” transformations look more like magic instead of awe inspiring mechanical miracles. It is a little thing but it’s just one more thing that covers up the bacon.


I just want some bacon!

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