I called my mother Momma!

I called my mother Momma. 

Occasionally when I was kidding around I would jokingly address her by one of her God-given names, Lola or Earlene and my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek. It was never Mommy and "yes or no" was almost always followed by a proper southern "Ma'am".   If we were arguing I called her Mother, something my wife first noticed.  But whatever I called her it was always done with love and respect.

By definition every Mom is a force of nature in her child's life. In Momma's case she was a force of nature in a more traditional sense to countless numbers of people. Those that knew her understand. My Mother never "slipped quietly" into a room.  My Mother never stood against the wall. My Mother never waited for somebody to do what needed to be done.  The moment Momma entered the room it was her room. She stood in the middle of every room because whatever was happening wasn't happening on the edges. She was a woman of action.  There was not a task too small and definitely not a task too large. 

You need a wedding director? Call Earlene.  You need a fundraiser organized? Call Earlene. You need somebody to run the booster program? Call Earlene.  You need a choir director? Call Earlene. You need an event catered? Call Earlene. You need somebody to manage feeding 400 people a night for 4 nights to raise money for a school trip? Call Earlene. You need to have 15 teenagers spend the night and have them fed and ready for church the next morning? Call Earlene.   Actually, to be accurate you didn't have to call her because half the time it was her idea to begin with.  She was an uber- multi-tasker before multi-tasking was cool. It is said that you can never have too many irons in a fire if the fire was hot enough. Mom's fire burned and burned hot.

In my last two years of high school, apparently Momma was beginning to fear "Empty Nest Syndrome".  So she started her own business. Two years later she owned and operated three day-dare centers that cared for over 150 children every day.  One of those was in our basement.   Not to rest on her laurels she also joined the NC Association of Daycare Owners and spoke on their behalf before the General Assembly. No, Momma was no shrinking violet.

Momma  was a classically trained musician.  I know that I am biased but she was a phenomenal singer. She could inspire with her performances. She was a beautiful soprano with the ability to the rattle the rafters of any church so fortunate to have her bless it with her voice. Anyone who ever heard her sing "The King Is Coming" was never soon to forget it.  She was choir director of our church and a friend, confidant and mentor to dozens of youth and members over the years. 


Of all the things that made Momma special, her innate ability to praise, inspire and motivate others to step-up and participate is the one I remember the most.  Go look up the word "ENCOURAGER" and there would be a picture of my mother. Had she even remotely enjoyed sports she would have made an awesome coach.  There was very little room in Momma's vocabulary for "CAN'T" and if you told her there was something you could not do, her typical reply would be "Ah, Bull, I know better."  Then she would stroke your ego and tell you all the right things to pump up your confidence. Then, if that didn't work, the next step was a swift kick in the pants. But make no mistake it was always done with love.  Through the sheer force of her will you would find yourself standing up doing exactly whatever you thought you couldn't do ten minutes earlier.  I saw her do it 1000 times and each one was beautiful.

We lost Momma way too soon almost 16 years ago. The reception line for her viewing lasted nearly 4 hours with a line out the door.   Time after time guests wanted us to know what Momma had done for them.
"Your Mom was really there for me when my Dad passed."
"Earlene is the only reason I went to college. She told me I could."
"Your Mom always made me feel special."
"Mrs. York stood up for me when nobody else would."
"She just made you feel better when she came into the room with her smile"
Over and Over and Over.....We had always known it but I don't think we had a full appreciation of her reach until that night.

Earlene Brown York was larger than life.  I am thankful she was/is my Momma. The biggest regret of my life is that my children never go to meet her.  She would have eaten them up. However,  I am comforted in knowing that because of her I am a better Father to my kids. I know that I am a better Husband to my wife and a better confidant to my friends.  I know that the best parts of me are better for having had her encouraging, prodding, praising and loving me.  I miss her this Mother's Day and I miss her every day. 

So if you can  I suggest you drop what you are doing pick up a phone or better yet drive to your Momma's house and tell her you love her.