Unsolicited Movie Reviews – 2018 Oscar Edition

Unsolicited Movie Reviews – 2018 Oscar Edition

Every year’s crop of Oscar Best Picture nominees seems to share a similar or predominant theme. Last year’s was misery and sorrow. Practically all the movies were ridiculously sad. Two years ago the common thread seemed to be struggling against overwhelming forces or odds. This year’s lot is much more tonally confused on the whole. This makes for an interesting year and forces you to watch an unusually, broad variety of films in both story and style.

For our consideration we have 2 historical dramas that show two views of the same event and could not be more different films. There is 1 revenge epic, 1 satirical horror, 1 coming of age tale, 1 First Amendment anthem and 3 creepy love stories for three different reasons.

For the purposes of this ranking I try my best not to factor in the current political climate. This is not my best guess of who is going to win. If you don’t like Gary Oldman because he’s accused of some bad behavior or you think Lady Bird will ride to victory because of the Me Too movement, great. That isn’t what this list is about. This is strictly which films I liked best and how I would vote given the opportunity.

There are always head-scratchers as well. One glaring omission in this year’s crop, Wind River, was beyond worthy and I think it is a shame that it was omitted. Additionally, Gil Birmhingham’s performance as a grieving father of a murder victim was grossly overlooked as well. But those are the breaks. I promise you there are greater tragedies in this world. The sun will come up tomorrow.

Again and for the record, these are listed in my personal order ranked by how I would vote if I were voting and not what I think will win. DO NOT use this for betting unless you want to lose your house.

Dunkirk – Best movie I saw this year. One of the better movies I’ve seen in the last decade. Dunkirk,

to put it plainly, is a masterpiece. From the first minute of the film there is not a single moment to let your guard down emotionally. There is not one minute to control your senses. There is only a race against time and an unseen enemy that is palpable and real throughout the entire movie. Some were put off with Nolan’s penchant to play with time and sequence. To each his own but part of the brilliance of the movie is the way Nolan intertwined 3 story lines of 3 chronological lengths into a single 2 hour arc and showed practically every svrmr from 2 and sometimes 3 points of view. That would be amazing on a technical level alone and I haven’t even mentioned what a great history lesson it tells.

Dunkirk is a worthy tribute to the spirit and will of the soldiers stranded on that beach and the nation that rallied to protect their protectors. Strong, Calm, Determined, Unflappable…..Britain!

Honest to goodness, at times it took my breath away. Phenomenal Film Making

Three Billboards Outside Ebbings, Missouri – At times heartbreaking, infuriating, surprising and often brutally hysterical TBOEM is more than worthy of Best Picture. The movie is loosely inspired by an unsolved 1991 rape and murder that prompted the victim’s father to rent billboards critical of the investigation. That’s where the similarities stop.

TBOEM speaks to rage and sorrow and the debilitating effects of violence,of all kinds. It shows the consequences of desperation and helplessness on otherwise good people. It makes you question to what lengths you yourself would go for justice. But as dark as it remains throughout it reminds us how powerful the mere hope for redemption can be.

It would be impossible to assemble a better cast. Frances McDormand was great and should win. Woody Harrelson continues to build a ridiculous acting resume for the same guy who was Woody on CHEERS. However, if Sam Rockwell doesn’t win for Best Supporting it will be a shame. His was a brutally raw characterization and somehow this is his first nomination after an impressive career.

Get Out – Sharp, funny, disturbing and occasionally a little scary. This was marketed as a “horror” film. Not sure it falls into that genre but then again that is all about perspective. More accurately it is a brilliant piece of scathing satire.

Daniel Kaluuya would have a great shot at the Best Actor trophy if not for Gary Oldman's Churchill.  Kaluuya's gradual realization of his predicament was so well paced it set the tone for the entire film. It also made the final revelation that much scarier. Jordan Peele showed depth as a film maker outside of comedy. Get Out came out of left field and will reap career rewards for all involved.

As a matter of odds they stack up against Get Out. It is a “horror”. It made a ton of money and it was released in February. Why does that matter? Most Oscars go to the films released in the latter part of the year. The last February release to win Best Picture was Silence of the Lambs 26 years ago. However, if there is a shocker, no pun intended, this will be it.

Darkest Hour – I don’t trust myself to objectively critique this film. I am a huge Churchill buff. Few historical figures rise to the level of adoration that I feel for Winston. I have read reviews that thought this movie was overly sentimental and formulaic. Other reviewers felt it unfairly portrayed Chamberlin and Halifax. There is an argument to be made, that the film makers completely wasted Kristen Scott Thomas as Clemmie. That may all very well be accurate and further more I don’t really give a damn.

This film is about Churchill. It is about his words and his deeds and his struggle to hold a nation together at times by what seemed to be his own bare hands at times. It is about his dogged determination to “KEEP BUGGERING ON” even as the world and many in his own government were hiding in the shadows. It is about a masterful performance by Gary Oldman who literally disappears in the role.  The film is at its best when Churchill is at his lowest. It does a stellar job of conveying the utter isolation and personal responsibility this man had to feel.

Lady Bird – I struggled placing Lady Bird on the list more than the other films. It is an Academy darling. It is small, contemplative with sharp dialogue and eccentric but relatable characters.

What I liked about the film was the acting. Saoirse Ronan is the real deal. She was nominated 2 years ago for Brooklyn and 10 years ago for Atonement.  That is 3 nominations and she is only 23. She would be unrecognizable between the two roles. She has such a memorable presence on screen where it just seems like she belongs.

I also loved Laurie Metcalf as the Mom who may have redefined the apex of passive aggression. She was marvelous and were it not for Allison Janney I think she would be a shoe-in for the Best Supporting Actress award.

It didn’t have as much of an emotional punch for me but my wife tells me I’m wrong and she is usually correct.

The Post – Spielberg directs Streep and Hanks in a story about one of the biggest news stories in the nation’s history. Honest to God if this film hadn’t been nominated the world may have stopped spinning on its axis. Everything about this film works. The writing, acting, directing, lighting, cinematography etc. all work wonderfully.

The only problem with this, and a few other more recent films by SS, is that they are like a 7’ tall man dunking a basketball.  It is what you expect. Excellence and continued success raise a bar so high it is hard not to raise expectations. Then if doves don’t sweep in and carry you off to a land of rainbows and gold you feel like you have been let down. Spielberg, Hanks and Streep are somewhat victims of their own success. I think they will get over it while they are sitting around polishing their other Oscars with $1000 bills.

This is a really, really, fine film. Unfortunately, it will unfairly be compared to the better “All the President’s Men”.  It won’t go down as Spielberg’s greatest but that doesn’t make it bad it just doesn’t make it transcendent.

The Shape of Water – I keep reading that this is the best bet for Best Picture. Here is the thing. It is all about the buy-in. Every movie you see requires a certain degree of disbelief suspension. The degree required for The Shape of Water is off the charts. To put it plainly, it is just weird. Now, cross-species stories aren’t new exactly. We’ve had Beauty and the Beast, Starman and Julia Roberts’ marriage to Lyle Lovett. So how is it otherwise?

Take the weird out of it and you have a rich, beautifully filmed love story set to the backdrop of espionage and world politics. You have two sympathetic heroes, compelling supporting characters and a creepily strange villain. Visually, the movie is nothing short of gorgeous and all the technical aspects of the film work.

But here is the thing. It’s just freaking weird. If you get past that you’ll probably love it.

Phantom Thread – Can a movie be exceptionally well made being full of brilliant direction, exquisite acting and an attention to cinematic detail that is nothing short of amazing and still make me dislike it? Phantom Thread proves that the answer to that question is YES.

I didn’t hate it. It just pissed me off and not because it was trying to piss me off . That would have been fine. The problem is that it was trying to surprise the viewer. It was being pretentiously clever. If this movie were a college student it would be sitting in a café smoking cloves and making puns about Proust. All the while it would be feeling superior to its friends that didn’t get the reference.

There is some fine craftsmanship all through this movie. Supposedly it is the last film of Daniel Day-Lewis, arguably this generation’s greatest actor. I find this rather disheartening because the movie itself is a little bit of an asshole.

Call Me By Your Name – FINALLY, this is the first nominated film in 2 years that I actually hated.
First, it was shot beautifully. If it were a travel log for the Italian countryside it would have been a raging success.  Or even better, think of the most beautiful painting you have ever seen. Whether it is in a book or a museum, just imagine whatever painting you consider the most beautiful. Then get some popcorn, pull up a chair and stare at the painting in a dark room. Just look at it sitting there. Keep looking. It doesn’t move. Oh, you notice something in the corner. Keep looking……..Keep………Looking. Now, it has been a couple of hours and you check your watch and you realize, “Holy crap! That took ten minutes”.  That is what this movie is like.

This movie was marketed as a young gay man’s coming of age story while living in Italy. He falls in love with one of his father’s older students. This movie should have been marketed as “Hey look, gay people can be just as frigging boring as the rest of us!”

I’m not saying there isn’t a story here or the acting was awful. It was just so lifeless especially for a film that is supposedly about passion. I also think it is fair to point out that I found the age difference of the love story a bit creepy. I realize the young man’s character was 18 and an adult but visually the actor that played his looked significantly younger especially compared to his love interest Armie Hammer.

There you have it. That’s all I got.